1. First Impressions: If you have scheduled a date, it is important to properly prepare for it. There may be times when you are not in the mood to dress appropriately for a date ….. push yourself. Remember: There is another person who is going out of his/her way to look good for you. You should do the same.
2. Arrive On Time: Whether you are being picked up or meeting somewhere – arrive on time. If you see you are running late, have the courtesy to call the Shadchan, or text your date and let them know. Don’t leave them waiting for you.
3. Do Not Cancel: You may have had a hard day at work, and you may not be in the mood to go out that night. However, if you agreed and committed to going out, you should not cancel.
4. Know Who You Are: It is important to know yourself and know what you are looking for in a spouse before you start to date. Be cognizant of your strengths and weaknesses, what you can give to your spouse, and what you will need from them. Self-knowledge is crucial in a successful relationship, as is self-care: in order to truly give to others, you must first be able to give to yourself.
5. Don’t Talk About Past Relationships: Talking about a past relationship or previous dates is a very big turnoff. If you say something positive about him/her, it indicates that you are still thinking about the person, when you should be focusing on your date. On the flip side, if you say something negative about an ex, your date will think that it’s possible you will say negative things about him/her if it doesn’t work out.
6. Don’t Dominate the Conversation: Another turnoff is when one person dominates the conversation, or continuously interrupts the other. Stay conscious of the flow of the conversation and make sure you give your date a chance to speak. That is the only way you will get to know who he/she is and the way he/she thinks.
7. Be Interested: You may not find his/her profession or career riveting, but make eye contact and show that you are interested in what he/she does for a living. Hopefully, your date will show the same interest in you.
8. Be Polite: Even if you feel like the date will go nowhere, be kind, courteous, and participate in the conversation. Your date may not be for you but may know someone else who is. Also, if you are suggested to a friend of your date’s, you want them to have only good things to say about you.
9. Red Flags: Do not ignore warning signs that do not feel right like abuse, control, manipulation; rather, seek assistance immediately as soon as you notice something is wrong.
10. Dating Seriously: Two series which will include topics such as premarital questions of your partner’s background, goals and values, communication, finances and physical and mental illnesses.
11. Burn-Out from Dating: Are you tired, uninterested and stressed about going on another coffee date? Don’t let it show. Or better yet, change your attitude (stay tuned for tips in future newsletters!). A negative attitude is easily picked up on and has the power to affect whether or not your date will want to see you again. Having a positive attitude can change your dating experience around!
